Today is an odd day. I don’t know what is going on. Well, I guess it has been about a month now, but I have not had any desire really to be around anyone. I go to work and have not felt the need nor desire to socialize. After work I just want to be left alone, so I attempt to sit in my room alone but it is really hard to do especially when you have 2 granddaughters. So I put on a smile and go on with my day. At night I sit until the pain in my head puts me to sleep. But then I have accepted that the pain is just reminding me that I am alive. Sleep patterns normally give me from midnight to 4am, as of lately it has been 1 to 3. Not that there is anything going on nor on TV, I just sit in the dark and try not to wake my beautiful wife. It seems that daily I feel like I want to be by myself and then I am attempting to not let the rage inside me show. It seems like I am constantly trying to hold back a severe case of road rage and I am not in the car. I do not know if this has anything to do with the war of am I just coming unglued. I can’t talk to anyone because they won’t understand and I don’t want to be a burden.